Pathological Demand Avoidance
Are you a parent who has recently discovered Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)? Does it feel like a lightbulb moment in understanding your child, but also incredibly overwhelming? You are not alone. While awareness and recognition of PDA are still lacking in mental health and support services in the U.S., there are a growing body of resources and support available!
Before having children I felt confident that I was equipped to help raise a happy, connected, “successful” little person. I obtained a degree in counseling, facilitated psycho-educational courses in adolescent conflict-resolution, self-esteem, and anger-management, tutored children with special needs, taught play classes, provided administrative support for the psychiatric care of children in foster care, and did volunteer work with children in preschool through high school. In addition to this, I had done extensive personal work in counseling for my own OCD. But nothing prepared me to parent a child with PDA.
As we tried every approach, parenting program, and advice available to us, we found ourselves beaten down and exhausted. I frequently commented to my husband, “She responds like a child who’s been traumatized,” and we simply couldn’t figure out why. SPD, ODD, ADHD, RAD, and more were explored, but nothing “fit” our daughter’s presentation or needs. Even when we finally got an autism diagnosis at age 5 we still felt like outliers, fitting some criteria and being completely alone in others. Then came the random facebook post about PDA in an Autism support group. The lightswitch flipped on! We could see our girl clear as day.
Over the last 4 years I have made it a priority to engage in ongoing education and training about PDA in order to best support our PDA child. The information I’ve acquired has been transformative for our family! Through What Helps I’m happy to point you toward relevant resources, as well as taking my “drink from the firehose” and distilling it into applicable “cups” to help your family where you are.
You are not alone!
Support In The Journey
I started What Helps after years of acquiring and applying information to support my PDA child. My goal is to bridge the gap between discovering PDA and learning what it means for your family.
Let me help you gain a better understanding of PDA and the resources available for greater connection, peace, and self-advocacy.
Growing In Understanding And Hope.
“Thank you for being so open and sharing your experience -it’s the first time I’ve gotten to speak directly with a fellow parent about PDA. I’m super grateful for your time and insights -which definitely resonate with me.”
-Parent of elementary age child
Professional Feedback
“(Cheryl) has demonstrated that she has a very thorough understanding of PDA… (and) an excellent understanding of the anxiety which drives this condition and the behaviours that result from it.
All the answers (for Level 3 Certification) are extremely thorough, clear and very well developed, particularly those exploring reasons for using approaches that can support children with PDA in the classroom and how to avoid crisis due to anxiety.
I really like the way that (Cheryl) has used examples related to her own child… which bring meaning and show understanding.
Her answers demonstrate a very thorough understanding of the approaches that may be effective when working with individuals with PDA, with clear reasons for using them.”
Level 3 Certification: Supporting Children, Teenagers and Young Adults with PDA, case study feedback.
NEST (Neurodivergent Education Support and Training), PAST (Positive Assessments Support and Training),
Low Demand, High Connection
I’m proud to have partnered with Amanda Diekman as one of the Parent Coaches for her Low Demand Masterclass, January-March 2024.
You are not alone. Check out her book for personal insights and practical steps!
Real Support, Accessible Pricing.
It’s my goal to keep my pricing significantly below the standard market rate for parent coaching, to help more families access the support they need.
20 minute initial session. Free
Other options include Direct Messaging with M-F 24 hour response times -often much less!
Great for those with anxiety in real time virtual conversations or with language barriers.
See Prices & Packages tab for more info & Discounts!
To connect with me, sign up for an initial tele meeting to discuss your story and see if peer consultation and support are right for you.
Never a sales pitch!
50 minute sessions.
See Pricing & Packages
I would be honored to hold space to hear your story, offer insights of best practices, build felt safety through self-disclosure, and guide you in discerning next steps.
Best Practices, Real Life Applications
Over the last 4 years I have made it a priority to engage in ongoing education and trainings about PDA in order to best support our PDA child, including PDA Level 3 Certification through NEST and PDA North America’s PDA Certification, Level 1 . The information I’ve acquired has been transformative for our family! Through What Helps I’m happy to point you toward relevant resources, as well as taking my “drink from the firehose” and distilling it into applicable “cups” to help your family where you are.
I have worked with clients in…
Identifying family values and aligning goals/expectations
Creating plans for felt-safety in parent-child relationships
Creating connection in parenting partnership
Support for Low Demand in co-parenting families
Creating language and support for IEP Meetings
Identifying educational goals and options
Self-care as primary caregivers
Planning supports for significant trips or transitions
Navigating sibling relationships
Educating family support systems (i.e., extended family members, teachers, churches)
What I do not offer:
I do not provide professional counseling. I am not a medical professional or licensed therapist. While ND myself, I am also not Autistic and cannot offer an Autistic perspective. I am an individual sharing personal experiences and research in the context of peer consultation and support. My experience as an OCDer raising a PDAer offers insights into their overlap, but I do not have lived experience with the comorbidity of OCD and PDA.